Have you considered marriage counselling? If you haven’t, I would urge to consider doing so. Going to a marriage counsellor can be a bit scary, but there can also be tremendous benefits.
Our Experience with a Counsellor
First, let me say that I believe marriage counselling saved my marriage. About two years into our second marriage, my husband and I were constantly arguing, and we really didn’t know how to stop. First, we asked for help from a trusted couple in our church. They recommended two people, and within a couple weeks, we had our first counselling session with one of their recommendations.
At first, it was very rocky. I was crying a lot. My husband felt like he was getting picked on. It didn’t seem like it was helping all that much. One time, my husband even walked out of a session, and walked several miles to go home, because he did not like what he was hearing.
But we persisted, not knowing what else to do. And slowly, we started to listen to one another and understand each other. The skilled counsellor helped us discover the love that was hiding underneath all the hurt and anger. Our counselling went on for over two years, but it was worth the money, the time, and the work. It took a long time because of the complexity we were dealing with.
Reasons To Seek Help
So, I believe that marriage counselling, the right kind, can help save many other marriages, too. The challenge is, however, that going to a counsellor for the first time can be pretty intimidating. It requires you to be vulnerable and open. You might hear things that you don’t like, and you might feel things that are very comfortable. So, why bother? Next, we will discuss reasons to try marriage counselling.
You need to break the logjam between you.
Fights and arguments can go on for weeks, and never get solved. You need a third-party to put a stop in these proceedings, and go forward.
You haven’t probably haven’t healed from your past.
You and/or your partner have probably not healed from the confusing feelings of your previous marriage. A skilled counsellor can walk you through the healing process, and make both of you ready to tackle your current marriage.
Your kids are being affected.
If you have kids, your children are being affected by the tension in your relationship, and they also deserve to have more peace in their home.
Counselling will help you individually.
Therapy can help heal your marriage, but it can also help heal you as an individual.
Counselling brings out secrets.
Two people who are not getting along are hiding from each other, unable to communicate. Talking to a neutral third party lets each one be heard.
In two upcoming articles, I will look at ways to find a counsellor that is suitable for you, and common objections to marriage counselling. If you are constantly struggling in your marriage, I encourage you to find someone to talk to today.