Love

Clothes On the Bathroom Floor: Overlook A Fault

My husband has been leaving all his clothes on the bathroom floor lately. It drives me crazy. I seethe, I hold it in. I gripe about it in my mind. How can I get him to stop? Why does he does do this? What is causing this?

But then, something stops me. I look in the mirror. What do I see, but a slob looking back at me. I don’t leave clothes on the bathroom floor (often) but I do …

leave clothes on the bedroom floor

forget to do the dishes until they pile up on the counters

Neglect vacuuming until the dust bunnies are higher than the length of my skirt

And I then I see those proverbial four fingers pointing back at me, as I stand there accusing my husband in my mind. And wonder how I did not see them before. I pick up the clothes, quietly, and stop my inner grumbling. Yes, we both need to be better housekeepers, but I need to stop pointing at him in mind, but try to be a better example to him. And if that still doesn’t change things, maybe make a joke about it.

Benjamin Franklin said it is better to keep your eyes wide open before the marriage and half-open afterwards. What did he mean? Before we get married, we need to see our partner objectively, to see any possible future problems. But after … keeping a slightly blind eye lets us see our lover in the best possible light.  Just as we would hope him to do for us.

 

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Challenges

A Guide to Second Marriage Video

This is a video I created several years ago, as a short video guide to second marriage.  The format involves animated character giving basic tips on making it in a second marriage, and is based on this article:  Guide To Second Marriage: How to Stay Together. I warn you that they kind of “talk funny” because it is these animated characters, but I still kind of like it! Have a look and let me know what you think.

Like I said,  this content is taken from my article A Guide to Second Marriage: How to Stay Together. This was one of the first articles I ever wrote online, and it still gets quite a few readers. This was an article that partly based in a desire to find some hope in my marriage, and try to see the positive things that we were doing.

Text Version of the Video

And in case you can’t listen to a video right now, or just prefer reading over watching, here are the main points made in the video:

Sometimes second marriages seem impossible, but here are four tips to help you, from a couple who have made it:

  1. Let go of the past. Forgive yourself, your spouse and your spouse’s ex-partner. By doing this, you can start creating better tomorrows.
  2. Put your spouse first.  Make your spouse first and include them in your decisions. Don’t allow anyone, including your children, to disrespect them.
  3. This is not the Brady Bunch. Let go of the ideal and be grateful for what you have. This is real life, not the Brady Bunch.
  4. Be patient.  It takes a long time for things to figure things out in a second marriage. Things are complicated, but be patient.

I would love to know how you like the video, and any other questions or comments you have about second marriage or this website. Please comment in the sections below.

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