Children, Love

When I Knew He Would Commit

It was in a Geo Metro much like this one that I first realized my future husband would commit.

You know those moments in life where something just becomes completely clear? I am going to tell you a story today about when I knew, in my gut, that my future -husband would commit.

About a year before marrying my current husband, I had one of those epiphany moments. It was about nine in the evening.  I had gone with my then-boyfriend to drop off his kids to their home. (He had part-time custody at the time.)

His two boys were 9 and 11 years old. We were all crowded into his 1993 Geo Metro, with the boys sitting in the back. Like usual, all the guys were trying to outdo each other with verbal sparring. It was fun and sweet.  I wasn’t sure about the status of our relationship at this point. I was ready for more of a commitment but he didn’t seem ready at all.

But that night, as I looked over, I saw pure love on his face. Not towards me, but towards those two boys. And something deep inside me just knew.  Knew that he wouldn’t have brought me into his life, to meet his boys, and spend lots of time with them, unless he wanted to keep me around, to commit to what he had started.

This man had already watched helplessly as the hearts of his boys broke at losing their Dad. He would not allow me so close to them, unless he intended to stay with me. And something in me just knew that this loving father could not just play with my feelings. Yes, he was scared. Marriage terrified him. But he wanted to play for keeps. Otherwise, I would not be spending so much time with those boys.

And there is a lesson in this story. That despite our fears, there is a part of us that wants this thing to work, even when it seems impossible.  We wouldn’t have dared to get married, if this person didn’t mean a lot to us. So, let’s look past the current struggles and believe that the commitment, the love is still there, however buried it might be in fear, frustration, or anger.

What about you? Was there a moment during your courtship that was definitive? Where you felt like he was “the one?” Please share in the comments. I would love to hear your story.


Tell me what you think, what you really, really think!