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Second Marriage Tip #3: Let Go Of The Past

The third piece of advice in this ongoing second marriage tip series is “let go of the past.” This is a series of quick tips designed to help you in your marriage.

Many marriages break up when they cannot see past all the hurt in their history.

Not letting go means that we use the past as a filter in how we view the present. We will interpret our partner’s actions by things that happened to us in our last relationship.

Okay, now I will share with you a story from my past. I confess that I had a BIG jealousy problem when my husband and I first got together. You see, every other man had cheated on me, so I expected him to do the same. And that lack of trust threatened to tear us apart. I had to work through the hurt caused by past infidelities before I could trust my present partner.

Ways of Letting Go Of The Past

What are some ways of letting go of the past? Sometimes talking about it is what’s necessary to move forward. It may work to talk to your spouse, if he is open to hear it. Other times, it may be more wise to share with a friend or relative.

Some people process things best things through writing. A  journal can be an excellent way to process things at your own pace.  I would suggest though, keeping the book somewhere private, especially if you have kids in the household.

Marriage counselling can also  be an incredible method for working through issues from past relationships. A good counsellor will have the patience to listen and help you heal.

Letting go of the past is a spiritual experience. I will share that my faith in Jesus also helped to process the past, as I began to believe that  I was forgiven and was better able to forgive others.

Finally, forgiveness is the ultimate form of letting go.  When we can forgive, we can move on to create better tomorrows. Finding a place of forgiveness is not easy but it is worth it.

Well, I hope this was helpful. This is the third in our ongoing series, “Second Marriage Tips.” For the first  tip, see the post, Second Marriage Tip #1: Take Time For Yourself.  And for the second tip, go here: Second Marriage Tip #2: Be Patient. 

Tell me what you think, what you really, really think!