Connecting, Fun, Love

Second Marriage Tip #5: Be Good Friends

When I was 13 years old, our family moved to a new town where I knew no one. After leaving my old friends behind, I reconnected with an old family friend named Karilynn. We became best friends. We would spend hours together simply “hanging out” talking about boys, life and our families.

She lived on a farm and I lived in town, so we could only get together on the weekends when our parents would agree to drive us. We would spend two days straight together and then talk on the phone throughout the week. It seemed we could never get enough time together, even though we didn’t really “do” or “accomplish” that much.

Did you have a friend like that growing up? Where the time goes by so fast and you feel completely like yourself? One thing I have noticed about best friends is that you don’t have to be exactly the same. My best friend was more domestic than me. She dreamt about marriage and a family, while I was focused on having a high-paying career. What makes people good friends is not that you are like twins but rather that you are loyal to each other. You have each other’s back and you accept each other. Most close friendships also involve lots of laughing and goofiness.

You’re My Best Friend

A couple of years ago, my husband told me, “you’re my best friend.” I was kind of surprised because it didn’t feel like we always understood each other but I was also pretty happy. After all, we choose our friends and no one forces us to be friends with someone! And when it comes down to it, he sees me at my worst and he still accepts me. He is the one to hold my hand when I am sick and listen to me when the world breaks my heart.

Being someone’s friend has a much better connotation than “ball and chain” or “my old lady.” And even though romance is wonderful, it is plain old friendship that can get through the practical realities of marriage. It is friends that make us laugh, see us at our worst and understand us.

Do you feel like you and your partner are pretty good friends? What does friendship look like to you? Let me know in the comments below!

This is the fifth in a series of “second marriage tips.”

Read the others in the series below:

Second Marriage Tip #1: Take Time For Yourself

Second Marriage Tip #2: Be Patient

Second Marriage Tip #3: Let Go of the Past

Second Marriage Tip #4: Agree To Disagree

If you would like to read more on the topic of second marriage, my book “Second Marriage: An Insider’s Guide to Hope, Healing & Love is available in both e-book and paperback versions on Amazon.

Tell me what you think, what you really, really think!