The very definition of stepmom is “a woman who is married to someone’s father but is not their “real” mother. So, it’s no wonder that stepmothers struggle with understanding their role and with feeling inauthentic. It’s understandable that a stepparent might feel like an imposter, stuck in the strange role of doing a lot of “mom things” but not being a mom per se. I know I felt a sense of discomfort and confusion in my year as a stepmom.
Five Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Stepmom
- Remember your passions! What makes you feel alive? Find time to do something that makes you passionate, even if it is only for a couple of hours a week. Remembering who you are is one of the keys to feeling more authentic as a stepmom.
- Care for yourself. We often find self-care difficult as stepmothers. First of all, we are usually busier, and often more stressed. And we have given up some of our prior habits to help accomodate our blended families. So, choose just one thing to improve your self-care.
- Set better boundaries. Boundaries are very important in blended familes. Setting up boundaries can include things like not allowing rude behaviour and making sure that everyone has their own space.
- Be vulnerable sometimes. You won’t want to do this all the time but once in a while, it can be effective to honestly share your feelings with your stepkids.
- Let others in. We often isolate ourselves as stepoms because we feel like our situation is so crazy that no one could possibly understand. Let someone else into your life, and be honest about what’s happening. Whether it’s a trusted friend or a counsellor, sharing the truth of your situation can go a long way to beating the “imposter syndrome” as a stepmom.
Mentioned in this episode:
My Book: 16 Gifts Book
Ron Deal’s Book: The Smart Stepfamily
Some of my Polyvore Art Sets (ones by prairieprincess) on Pinterest Board: https://www.pinterest.ca/sharilees/polyvore-art-sets
Note: I just found out, by looking for my old sets, that Polyvore is no longer in existence.
Matthew 1:20: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+1%3A20&version=KJV
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